An expression of stress

I have the tendency to go straight from feeling no motivation whatsoever to being incredibly stressed out. It's very bad for creativity and productivity.

When I'm in a situation where I feel I've got a lot to do, as now, it makes it incredibly difficult to do anything at all. I feel stressed out and if I don't particularly feel like working on what I should be working on then I feel too guilty to do anything else including things that will help me relax. I end up eating copious amounts of time focusing on this inner struggle when I know it would truly be more effective if I took a legitimate break and went for a walk, played a game, or did some other unwinding.

I am historically bad at taking breaks. In my first of year university, I felt I had so much to do (on top of my commute) that I rationalized that I didn't have time to eat, sleep, or even drink water. I ended up dropping 15 pounds (which is a lot for someone my size), and becoming painfully constipated. When I worked at the mall, they didn't enforce breaks too closely so I would often forego my fifteen minute break because it would be a more effective use of my time to keep working, and time would feel like it went faster. Even now, I don't drink as much water as I should partially because I hate having to take frequent bathroom breaks wherever I am and whatever I am doing.

Lately, I'm not going into work terribly a lot. Across my two jobs I've been working on average 33 hours a week or so. The trouble comes when I get home or it's my day off and I've got all this Anime North stuff looming over my head. I hardly get a  moment of peace to myself. I keep telling myself that in June I will have time to take a break and have a social life, but for now, I'll be sewing all day at work and then sewing all evening when I get home.

Reworking

Today, for the holiday I had a bit of a drafting day. For Anime North, at the end of May, I am signed up as a crafter, and so I need to make things to sell. I've just started on my way to make that possible, although I haven't actually made anything yet.

To start, I decided to make other versions of things that have worked out for me in the past. I've had a couple cool ideas that I think people would be interested in, so I'm modifying them to be a little more practical and widely appealing. First is my Pokéball dress. I thought for a while it would be cool and cheeky to make and sell Pokéball bras. Since I made my dress, I took a bra-making course, so there are some improvements I could make to the bodice now. I also know how to make a bra properly, but bra sizing without actually knowing which sizes is a bit tricky, particularly since I'm picky about fit-- especially for bras. It was already difficult to fit the dress that I made because it is entirely made of non-stretchy twill fabric. Throughout a month (in a womanly kind of way) it'll vary from being too big to too small because the fabric just doesn't have any give.

What I resolved to do is make a knit tank top with a bustier kind of construction, with a cut and sew cup and no wires or padding. This way the fit is more forgiving, in cup-ratio and all-around fit. It will also be more appropriately wearable in the world than a bra (I don't really want to be encouraging teen girls to wear any less clothing.) while allowing more flexibility of styling than a dress.

I started working on the cups for that, by modifying the bra pattern that I made for school. I made a mock-up of the cup pattern in lingerie foam and then drew lines on it in chalk where I wanted the new seams to be. I then re-cut the lines and traced out the shape of each piece on bristol board, also modifying the shape for styling (essentially making the cups more circular like a pokéball!).  I then added the seam allowances and cut it out of black white and red knits. When I serged the pieces together, it worked out alright, just the corners on the outside of the black circle are hard to get at, so I will most likely have to straight-stitch that part. Once I have a working pattern and prototype I will work on grading it to different sizes.

The other item I've been working on is a version of the Hylian Shield backpack that I made for a Link costume several years ago. In Ocarina of Time, somehow Link carries around everything in the "Select Item Sub-Screen", and when he puts things away he seems to place them over his shoulder, behind his back; so wouldn't it make sense if his shield was a knapsack? The original that I made was a little floppy, and is constructed so I can carry a papier maché sheath on the same belt the knapsack is strung onto. I'm thinking I'll make one with actual knapsack straps and it will be more functional. I re-drafted and cut out the pattern for it so it'll be easy to make down the road.

Along the same vein, I'm thinking of making some other shield designs in a similar way as well as a Kokiri shield purse.

Saturday morning, I aim to go fabric shopping. I've only been able to do certain parts depending on what I've had materials on hand for, since I haven't gotten the chance to get to the fabric stores. (They close before I would get to Queen and Spadina after work.) Now that I've done some of this plotting and drafting, I have some of the measurements and specifics I need to get the next load of materials. Now I just have to make sure my list is complete.